Wipe Jokes

What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.

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What does a Russian use to wipe their mouth?

A soviet

Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

How do you troll someone?

Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge.

How does the blind man know when to stop wiping his arse?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Why do we call it toilet paper?

Does anyone wipe their toilet with it

What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom?

A swipe and wipe.

Who will I share the sunset with now?

Sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

What did Van Gogh's mother say to him when he was sad?

Wipe away those ears.

What do you call it when you keep wiping but brown still shows?

The Trail of Smears

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

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What's this?

Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...

How the rap feud started Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party?

2pac: sure, no biggie Biggieeavesdropping: wipes tears

What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

What does Magneto do when his computer gets dirty?

He wipes the hard drive.

What hand do you wipe with?

Left or right Response: why not use toilet paper

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

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Executed.

Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

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What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?

They wash themselves.

Why do towels get dirty?

If we use towels just to dry ourselves after washing off dirt and what not. Why do they get dirty??

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How do black people tan?

Holding their hands up

Why did the T-Rex fail his business project?

He couldn't make hands meet.

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Why should you never buy Russian jeans?

Chernobyl fallout

What are their nationalities?

Russian and Finnish!

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What State do you go to to ask questions?

Al-ask-ya

What would Arnold Schwarzenegger say if you asked him his favorite holiday?

You have to love Easter, baby." (OC)

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How do you get a date on Tinder?

Seriously guys, I've been trying for months so if anyone have any useful tips it would be much appreciated.

What did Dora say when Swiper got ahold of her tinder?

Swiper no swiping!!