Wipe Jokes

What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.

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What does a Russian use to wipe their mouth?

A soviet

Which hand did Henry VIII use to wipe his bottom with?

Anne Boleyn's.

How do you troll someone?

Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge.

How does the blind man know when to stop wiping his arse?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Why do we call it toilet paper?

Does anyone wipe their toilet with it

What do you call using Tinder while you are in the bathroom?

A swipe and wipe.

Who will I share the sunset with now?

Sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

What did Van Gogh's mother say to him when he was sad?

Wipe away those ears.

What do you call it when you keep wiping but brown still shows?

The Trail of Smears

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What's this?

Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...

How the rap feud started Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party?

2pac: sure, no biggie Biggieeavesdropping: wipes tears

What's the difference between toilet paper and a knife?

Oh, you don't know I won't ask you to wipe my bum then.

What does Magneto do when his computer gets dirty?

He wipes the hard drive.

What hand do you wipe with?

Left or right Response: why not use toilet paper

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

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Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

What does Frankenstein's monster call a screwdriver?

Daddy.

When your kid asks you (daddy is it time to go crazy?

You don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say My little joke

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know you are sitting next to a ski instructor?

They'll tell you.

What's better than winning gold in the Paralympics?

Having a pair of legs...... I know, I know, I'm going to hell

Cloth Jokes More Cloth Jokes

What did the square of cloth identify as on tumblr?

Nap-kin

What did one bolt of cloth say to the other bolt of cloth after hurting its feelings?

I'm sari.

Van Gogh Jokes More Van Gogh Jokes

Why didn't the art thief get away?

Because he didn't have to Monet to pay the Guy to make the Van Gogh.

What happens when you put too many paintings in your car?

You can't make your van gogh.

Instagram Jokes More Instagram Jokes

What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life?

Selfless

Why is Instagram not working?

But "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

What is an ear of corn's favourite Leonardo DiCaprio movie?

Inception

Why a conch shell, and why there of all places?

So that when you put your ear against it, you can smell the ocean.

Bum Jokes More Bum Jokes

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

It twerked.

How do you get stuck in an annoying conversation with a stranger?

Ask someone vaping if you can bum a cigarette.

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

What do you get when you cross a lima bean with a Soviet?

A Lenintil...

How many Soviets does it take to change a light bulb?

None! In Soviet Russia, light bulb changes you!