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What's this?

Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the big hairy monster do when he lost a hand?

He went to the second-hand shop.

What do you call it when a man has a beer in each hand?

Irish handcuffs.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

What do you mean, 10?

10 what Months Weeks!" Doctor: "Nine."

Wipe Jokes More Wipe Jokes

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

What do you call it when you keep wiping but brown still shows?

The Trail of Smears