Emergency Jokes

What does an helicopter and pants have in common?

They both moust go down in emergency.

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Whats ur emergency?

OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- "-of my sons mouth."

Why is mustard good to have in case of an emergency?

It's always prepared.

What's ur emergency?

Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what Goldfish: WHO IS THIS Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW

When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?

When the chips are down!

What do chefs do when they are cooking in an emergency?

They take drastic measures.

Which positions does a violist use?

First third and emergency.

What's the emergency?

How long before the rice is ready

Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.

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Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

When do the leaves begin to turn?

The night before a test.

What do you call an empty field?

The French army at the beginning of a war!

Leap Jokes More Leap Jokes

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Where'v you been all day?

At the beauty salon" "Were they closed! "

What do you call it when all the Chinese places in town start to close?

Wonton endangerment.

Ease Jokes More Ease Jokes

What do mathematicians drink?

Anything to ease the pain.

Why don't you remove those barriers to imports?

It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down.

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for 15 years.

What's your favorite tasteless 9-11 joke?

Here's mine. Knock knock. Who's there 911. 911 who You said you'd never forget

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight?

When they had lots of sleepless knights!

How do you know if a pepper is starting a fight with you?

It gets jalapeno face.

Police Officer Jokes More Police Officer Jokes

How do you describe a hierarchy of police officers with only one word?

Police police police police police police police police police police police.

How does a police officer go to the bathroom?

Ctrl+C

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the boy stop using his Sony, his Boombox, and his Bose Radio?

He stopped believing in stereotypes.

Why did the bodybuilder stop in the middle of the road?

They ran out of juice!