What's the difference between spit and swallow?

A firm grip on the back of her head.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Beyonce and a shopping bag?

A shopping bag can carry a child.

What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend?

A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!

Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?

Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a guy with no nuts and a horn on his head?

A eunucorn.

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Spit Jokes More Spit Jokes

Why did the lion spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny.

What's a difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"