Swallow Jokes

Why did the very religious man not say a word while he was fasting?

He was afraid that he would swallow his words.

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What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality.

Why was the lion a terrible cannibal?

He couldn't swallow his pride.

What's the difference between "like", "love" and "showing off"?

Spit, Swallow and Gargle.

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off?

Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling.

What's the difference between a tease, a love, and a lust?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow?

Abandonment.

Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?

Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

Why aren't lions cannibals?

They can't swallow their pride.

What do you call a cow that's swallowed a stick of dynamite?

Abominable.

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Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

What's the largest organ in the human body?

** That depends. If you've just swallowed a Steinway and a Wurlitzer, it's probably the Steinway.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a bird?

A gulp. It's like a swallow, only bigger.

What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill?

It bucked!

What happened when Dr Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?

He got atomic ache.

Why are giraffes slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride

What type of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

Why was the lions stomach enormous?

Because he finally swallowed his pride

What is a monster's favourite game?

Swallow the leader.

Whats the definition of love true love and showing off?

Spitting swallowing and gargling.

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How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

What's a sharks favorite game?

Swallow the leader. *This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*

Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin?

There was some money in the kitty!

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

Reality

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

What brings no babies?

The Swallow.

What's got six legs and can fly long distances?

Three swallows!

What kind of bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

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Why is 10 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9

Why was 10 afraid of 11?

Because Eleven has crazy superpowers.

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What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

Why do women and children evacuate first in an emergency?

So the men can go on Reddit and repost this joke.

True Love Jokes More True Love Jokes

What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?

He left lip prints on the mirror!

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What does fast and furious 5 and The Walking Dead have in common?

They both have dead walkers.

Why did the very religious man not say a word while he was fasting?

He was afraid that he would swallow his words.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if there is an elephant in bed with you?

He has a big E on his pajamas.

What type of wife always knows where her husband is?

A widow

Poison Jokes More Poison Jokes

What's that funny taste?

Definitely not poison. Have another slice!

How does a Nun save herself from being poisoned?

Nun chucks.

Gargle Jokes More Gargle Jokes

What's the difference between "like", "love" and "showing off"?

Spit, Swallow and Gargle.

What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.