Leader Jokes

What's the worst kind of incompetent?

Leader.

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What did the disgruntled alien customer say to the store clerk?

Take me to your leader!

What is a monster's favourite game?

Swallow the leader.

What's a sharks favorite game?

Swallow the leader. *This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*

Why is it easier to pick a prime minister than any other leader?

Because there's only 2 factors involved.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)

What do you call a punk band that knows how to play their instruments?

A metal band

Michigan Jokes More Michigan Jokes

What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan?

Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end

What do you call on-again off-again snow in Michigan?

Inter-mitten.

Oppose Jokes More Oppose Jokes

How do you tell if someone is opposed to GMOs?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why are families only allowed 1 child in China?

The government is opposed to euthanasia.

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What do you call a fissure in the earth that houses old Russian rulers who like to mock others ironically?

Tsar-Chasm

How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?

None. In Russia, light bulb changes you.

Monica Lewinsky Mouth Jokes More Monica Lewinsky Mouth Jokes

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

Why do you say that?

Because she always puts me to bed when I'm wide awake and gets me up when I'm sleepy!

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?

Depreciation.

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

Samsung Note Jokes More Samsung Note Jokes

What's the difference between a bull and a Samsung Note 7?

I'm not scared when the bull charges

What happened when the Samsung Note 7 was launched?

It was an explosive success