Monica Lewinsky Jokes

Why did Monica Lewinsky vote Republican?

Because Democrat left a bad taste in her mouth!

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What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common?

All they talk about is the presidential erection

What do Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common?

They both say insert Bill here

What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common?

It's their knees that go first.

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

One US Leader

What's white, located in washington and has a president within it?

Monica Lewinsky's teeth.

What is the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

1 US Leader.

Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor?

He always shoves a Bill down her throat!

What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?

He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across.

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

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What was Monica Lewinsky's job at the White House?

Receiving heads of state.

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What goes on forever with no head?

A loveless marriage.

What's black, white, and red all over and can't turn around in a narrow hallway?

A nun with a spear through her head.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What will men do for pleasure at that time?

God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot.

How can you tell when the stage is level?

The drummer is drooling equally from both sides of his mouth.

President Jokes More President Jokes

Why do you need to be 35 to be elected president?

So women don't get elected.

What kind of country has a clown problem?

The same one that has 2 clowns running for president!

Vote Jokes More Vote Jokes

Why is Dubya voting Republican this year?

So he'll only be the second worst president ever.

What does an Asian man do during an erection?

Vote.

Washington Jokes More Washington Jokes

Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.

Why do the walking dead survivors try to get to washington D.C.?

Because it's their Michonne.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What should you do when people talk behind your back?

Fart

When does 2-1=0?

When you're talking about choices.

Leader Jokes More Leader Jokes

What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

One US Leader

What's a sharks favorite game?

Swallow the leader. *This joke has been brought to you by my 8 year old's math homework.*