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Monica Lewinsky Jokes

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Liquid Jokes More Liquid Jokes

What are the four most common types of states of matter?

Solid, gas, liquid and Black Lives.

How many states of matter are there?

5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives

Washington Jokes More Washington Jokes

What's white, located in washington and has a president within it?

Monica Lewinsky's teeth.

What's the difference between Walk of Life and Washington state?

One's by Dire Straits, the other's by dryer states.

Concern Jokes More Concern Jokes

How does a ghost start a letter?

Tomb it may concern.

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

White House Jokes More White House Jokes

What do you call the first black guy elected to the White House?

Precedent.

Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.

Locate Jokes More Locate Jokes

Where was Soloman's temple located?

On the side of his head.

Where was the first discovered potato located?

In the ground.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What time does Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon every year?

About tennish.

What are the 5 most terrifying word in the English language?

Five more years of Cameron

Volume Jokes More Volume Jokes

I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on ‘high’

I couldn’t turn it down.

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

Vend Machine Jokes More Vend Machine Jokes

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.