Nfl Jokes

What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback?

An Aflacco

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What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

Why would Keemstar make a good NFL cornerback?

He's really good at swatting.

What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)

What's the difference between a wide receiver and Ray Rice's wife?

The NFL will review the tape of the wide receiver getting hit

What's the worst part of an NFL wedding?

Getting hit by Rice

What is green and white, throws pig skin, and is the worst team in the NFL?

The Jets.

What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards?

Oher's NFL career

What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common?

Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both.

Who's the nicest player in the NFL?

Drew Brees. The guy's a saint.

When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

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Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Where did you get that gold watch Joe?

Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it Joe: Three a policeman the owner of the watch and me!!

Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is?

Because his watch has ended.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What did the cell say to his sister who stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

What did one cell say to his sister after she stepped on him?

Mitosis. Huehuehuehuehuehue

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's the best kind of vegetable to bring to a party?

A turn up

What happens when the Sun and the Moon get together?

They turn out the lights.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What's upside down and downside up at the same time?

A kid with cerebral palsy living in Australia

What did the Russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why are elephants grey?

So you can tell them from flamingos!

How can you tell when a wine connoisseur is happy?

They have a semillon!

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

What sort of answer did you have in mind None-just assume it's changed.

Which service do you require?

Me: Oh! Don't mind me, I was just cleaning cake off the touch screen.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?

He left lip prints on the mirror!

Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

What did the headlines read after the midget fortune-teller escaped from jail?

Small medium at large.

Why did the duck go to jail?

He was selling quack.