Whoa. There are books on TAPE?

Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.

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Save Jokes More Save Jokes

How does a Nun save herself from being poisoned?

Nun chucks.

What's the best way to save on toilet paper?

Slow your roll.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

How do you stop a metal from rusting?

Use some antioxidants

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do you call an Arab man who drives a bus?

A bus driver.

What's with the steering wheel on the front of your pants?

The pirate says, "Argh!! I don't know but it's driving me testicles!!!"

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why do old people prefer to live in one story houses?

There close to the ground.

Where do the Russian separatists go to complain about their lives?

Crimea River

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What do you call Kim Jong-un reading a Stephen King novel?

Fearless Reader

What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater?

That's the worst book I ever read.

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

Where do books sleep?

Under their covers.

Why are books about the social contract and demand-side economics so hard to find?

Because they're kept firmly under Locke and Keynes.

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

What kind of tape do kidnappers use?

AbDUCT tape

How does Planned Parenthood paint their walls?

They go to Home Depot, get paint and rollers Sometimes they hire private contractors Lots of paint and tarps and tape, it's not that fun