Why didn't you obey that stop sign?

Driver: I don't believe everything I read.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

Why did the photon stop drinking after traveling 670 million miles?

Because Happy Hour ended.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What do cows read at the breakfast table?

The moospaper!

Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels?

She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

How is evolution and a Union construction job similar?

They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work.

What's the dating scene like at MIT?

Carbon-14 is the most common method, I believe.

Obey Jokes More Obey Jokes

How long does it take for stormtroopers to obey Kylo Ren?

Just the First Order.

What is the only law that Hillary obeys?

The law of gravity