What kind of bird does not make babies?

A swallow

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off?

Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling.

How do you get your stomach pumped?

Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"

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What is the softest bed for a baby to sleep on?

Cot-on-wool.

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One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one is a watermelon.

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Tequila Mockingbird.

What's the difference between an ant and a bird?

A bird can fly.

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What kind of type face does a pachyderm use?

Ele-font

What kind of dog is the quietest?

A "shhh"nauzer