How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count?

You have to chew before you swallow!

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in your swimming pool?

Bob

What did Captain Cook say to his men just before they got back in the ship?

Get back in the ship, men!

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Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills?

Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....

Why can't you tell a joke in a cornfield?

Because the stalks are all ears.

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How do you the difference between a blond man and a blond woman?

The blond woman will have a higher sperm count.

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What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?

I must throw that doggie out the window!"!

What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Hubble Bubble

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a bird?

A gulp. It's like a swallow, only bigger.

Why aren't lions cannibals?

They can't swallow their pride.