Casino Jokes

How are women like casinos?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why don't they have any casinos in South Africa?

Because there's too many cheetahs!

How do you walk out of a Casino with $1 Million?

Walk in with $2 Million.

What did the nun wear to the casino?

Her gambling habit.

What is your best casino joke?

I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!

Why doesn't china have casinos?

Because they hate Tibet.

Why do lambs go to casinos?

They love to gambol.

Why does Cuba not have any casinos?

They Havana no money to spend.

Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese don't like Tibet...

Why did the monks go to the casino?

Tibet.

What is the name of that casino on the beach?

Pair-a-dice.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino?

Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL

What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?

In a casino, you really mean it.

Why are there so few casinos in Africa?

Too many cheetahs

Why don't the Chinese have casinos?

Because they don't like Tibet

How can you always break even at the casino?

Play the change machines.

Why did the pig go to the casino?

To play the slop machine!

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Why was the dietician kicked out of the casino?

He was caught counting carbs.

Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California?

Because they, like, can't even deal.

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Million Jokes More Million Jokes

How many zeros in one million?

Six" "Ok, thanks" *writes milli000000n*

What has a million and one legs but still can't walk?

Jerry's kids.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How to tell an Irishman from a Scotsman on St. Patrick's day?

One wants to stay drunk all the time and the other doesn't want to pay the tab.

Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?

Because he thought his wife was a flake.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What does having kids bring you that money simply can't buy?

Poverty

Why was Beethoven making a lot of money?

His property was Fur Elise

Teenage Girl Jokes More Teenage Girl Jokes

Why do teenage girls hangout in odd-sized groups at Starbucks?

Because they can't even.

Why do teenage girls not like filing papers?

They just don't believe in labels.

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation?

He needed some time to himself to decompose.

What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

I've been really stressed out lately, I know it's not your fault, but please stop cracking jokes about me

Africa Jokes More Africa Jokes

What do German women's lingerie and Africa have in common?

Ze-bras!

Why are the sheep in Africa coloured pink?

The elephants are using them as tampons

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's the procrastinator's favorite song?

Tooomorrow, tomorrow, I love yah, tomorrow.." (You're always a day away)

Why does God love atheists?

Because they don't bother Him with incessant prayer.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why didn't the rock make it to work today?

He was stoned

What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.