If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.
Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher
Boss
Ah-so-late!
They said IT couldn't be done
His boss always took him for granite.
I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......
There is no porpoise.
Turns out Martha Stewart is a boss
Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.
To which the boss replies "We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else!"
My Boss: This is inappropriate Me: Your skin is so... My Boss:*Turns off shower* OUT!
Hubby: "My boss said go to hell!"
I literally cannot deal.
It's a rhetorical question I know this now
Micromanagement!
Yeah, I'm av**ale**able.
His boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."
Because he wanted them to work over-time
So his boss doesn't have to retrain him.
Me: Boss: Me: Shut the door when you leave
A raise in *celery*.
Darth Vader.
Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...
Me: My boss told me to go to hell
You wanna pizza me!
Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!
OC) He already has supervision.
He was sleeping with the fishes.
Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.
The team's kipper!
Because of all the seaweed.
A buccaneer!
A buck-an-ear.
Decaffeinated coffee.
Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)
Subordinate Clauses.
When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.
They both ain't got the same Seoul.
"Today children we will learn our ABC's"
Because twins being destroyed by planes is too cliche, I guess.
Two twins make a King.
Because people keep reporting they've found de brie.
Voat manipulation.
