Why are u home so early?

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What's black and got ten arms?

I've got no idea, but it probably can pick cotton like hell.

Where the hell are u?

ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

What fruit had to have an announced wedding at home?

Cantaloupe

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Where the hell are u?

ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there

What's the difference between U-Haul and Youtube?

People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.

Hubby Jokes More Hubby Jokes

Hubby: "My boss said go to hell!"

Why was the lizard's wife unsatisfied?

Her hubby had a reptile dysfunction.