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Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How do fast food restaurants make so much money?

OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

What is today's special at Google's employee cafeteria?

Alphabet Soup.

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

What did you learn in school today?

Not enough I have to go back tomorrow!

How do you know that you are a redditor?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. They hold it in place and wait for the world to revolve around them.

What is she doing?

The pal asks. "Waiting for me to get home."