Tomorrow Jokes

When is my wife's favorite day to make love?

Tomorrow

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How does procrastination start?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

What do you say to a lady that has to make 100 shirts by tomorrow?

You seamstressed

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

What's a procrastinator's favorite punchline?

I'll tell you tomorrow

What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?

Hare today gone tomorrow.

What did you learn in school today?

Not enough I have to go back tomorrow!

What's the procrastinator's favorite song?

Tooomorrow, tomorrow, I love yah, tomorrow.." (You're always a day away)

What did you get your mom for Mother's Day tomorrow?

Besides a tiny, brief panic attack

Who's to say tomorrow won't be the best day of your life?

A statistician.

What did Einstein text to his friend who he'd see tomorrow?

E=MC U L8R

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What am I supposed to take tomorrow?

Doctor: That was a 30 day supply. Me: Whoops.

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

How do we know that Jesus was made of bread?

Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

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When things go wrong, what can you always count on?

Your fingers.

What's the difference between a 100 year old and a 4 year old?

What base you're counting in.

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What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Where do you store a werewolf?

In a were-house

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What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to the other?

I didn't know we lived on the same block.

What do you call a bunch of pro wrestlers hitting each other with blocks of cheddar and wheels of gouda?

Battle Royale with cheese.

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What did the 80 grit sandpaper say to the 36 grit sandpaper?

You're a little rougher than I'm used to, but I'll grit and bear it. I'm sorry, that joke was a little rough ;D

What do you call a spider that likes 80s music?

A Durantula.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What do you call a fissure in the earth that houses old Russian rulers who like to mock others ironically?

Tsar-Chasm

Why do we need art?

Because the Earth without art is just "Eh".

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