What do you call a spider that likes 80s music?

A Durantula.

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What do dolphins like to listen to?

Podcasts.

When people say 'oh, you're still single?

I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married ' I'm popular.

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What did pirate say when he turned 80?

AYE MATEY

What do you call an 80lb midget with 40lb testicles?

SFW) Half nuts!

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What do you call a spider from Baghdad?

An Iraqnid.

What's a spiders favorite way to learn?

A webinar.