What do you call a spider that likes 80s music?

A Durantula.

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What do you tell someone who doesn't like Depeche Mode?

Enjoy the silence.

What does a fisherman say when he catches a fish?

His catch-phrase. Short n' Sweet, hope you like it!

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What does a Pirate say when he turns 80?

Ayyyeeeee mmmaattteeeyyy.

What did the audio visual cable say when it got 80% on its final?

HDMI

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What kind of doctors are like spiders?

Spin doctors!

Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed?

Son: I couldn't find a spider.