What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.

What do you get when you slice ice cream?

Slice cream!... I think I'll join the reposting group now...

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)

What did the thief say when he saw the man leave his coat behind?

Let's jack it.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How many more times will I watch "A Walk To Remember" tonight?

As Mandy Moore times as I want to.

What did the man say when he walked into a milk bar?

Can I grab some milk *Bah dum tsss*

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do you call a horse that has been kicked out of his house?

Unstable.

How do you know you let a hippie stay at your house?

He's still there.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

How do trains from different countries understand each other?

With a trainslator

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What kind of doctors are like spiders?

Spin doctors!

How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus?

It was a no brainer.

Roof Jokes More Roof Jokes

Why was the blonde girl sitting on the roof?

Someone told her drinks were on the house.

What did the hail storm say to the roof?

Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles

Gravity Jokes More Gravity Jokes

Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!

Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?

Because it doesn't even lift.

Situation Jokes More Situation Jokes

What do you call a pachyderm that has nothing to do with the situation?

Irrelelephant.

How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.