Situation Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Why don't astronauts take anything seriously?

They don't grasp the gravity of the situation...

What do you call a pachyderm that has nothing to do with the situation?

Irrelelephant.

What did the black hole say to the pulsar?

I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.

What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire?

That he needed to address the situation

What are you doing, idiot?

Me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot " me, to myself, in all other situations

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

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How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.

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Roof Jokes More Roof Jokes

What is the worst joke you have ever Heard?

I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

How many black people does it take to shingle a roof?

One....but you gotta slice him reeeeeaaaalllllll thinnnnnnnnnnnnn.....

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What is up with 1, 3, 5, 7, 9?

I can't even...

How much horsepower does a mustang have?

Nguyen Nguyen Jokes More Nguyen Nguyen Jokes

What do you call it when two Vietnamese people meet?

A Nguyen-Nguyen situation

What do you call it when two Vietnamese people are together?

A Nguyen Nguyen situation.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why can't Santa play in the NBA?

He has a no-trade Claus

Why do you not play Uno with Mexicans?

Cuz they take all the green cards

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's upside down and downside up at the same time?

A kid with cerebral palsy living in Australia

What did Pink Floyd say to Jerry Sandusky?

Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

When Chris brought over his musl*m girlfriend to meet the family, what did they say?

Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?

Whats the best part about dating a black girl?

You rarely have to meet their dad.

Event Jokes More Event Jokes

What do you call a snake that studies past events?

A HISSSSStorian.

What do you call a runner who hates every event but his own?

A raceist

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How many people from rio does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A Brazilian. Saw this joke elsewhere and thought i'd share it here.

What does the cannibal think after seeing a wheelchair user?

Meals on Wheels