Situation Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Why don't astronauts take anything seriously?

They don't grasp the gravity of the situation...

What do you call a pachyderm that has nothing to do with the situation?

Irrelelephant.

What did the black hole say to the pulsar?

I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.

What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire?

That he needed to address the situation

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does a bro say when asked if he needs help doing a magic trick?

Nah brah, tadah brah!

How many ladybugs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?

1. No mind. 2. No business.

How many Anime characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What! why?

The doctor says "So I can examine you"

What do you call going Doctor to Doctor... What do you call going Doctor to Doctor to figure out what your inflammatory bowel disease is called?

A Game of Crohn's.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Who's there! Cereal! Cereal who?

Cereal pleasure to meet you!

When we first met?

No, before that.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What did the thunder say when it understood the joke?

I feel so enlightninged!

How did NBC respond to someone who criticized their broadcasting?

I () can't () understand () your accent ().

Syria Jokes More Syria Jokes

What do you call a piece of sandpaper in Syria?

A map.

How do you call the current situation in Syria?

Very syrias

Match Jokes More Match Jokes

Why's he in his underwear?

Batman: So we match. Look, this isn't about me.

Which do you light first?

The match

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser?

Because he clearly owed the win to Miller.

What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess?

Shrekmate.