Situation Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Why don't astronauts take anything seriously?

They don't grasp the gravity of the situation...

What do you call a pachyderm that has nothing to do with the situation?

Irrelelephant.

What did the black hole say to the pulsar?

I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation

What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire?

That he needed to address the situation

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if a guy was in the Navy SEALs?

Don't worry, he'll tell you.

How many disappointments can you fit into a van?

I don't know, I can't get them outside of the house.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why did Ken and Barbie never have any kids?

Ken always came in a different box.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs at the front door?

Matt.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why is it good that the Vietnamese man won first place?

It's a Nguyen-win situation.

How did the shellfish win the underwater beauty pageant?

Using saxitoxin.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Why arent koalas actual bears?

They dont meet the koalafications.

What do you say if you meet someone from Anonymous in an S&amp?

M club? "Troll in the dungeon!"

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

Democrats Jokes More Democrats Jokes

Why are Vampires Democrats?

They want Gore in 2000.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many koalas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Technically just one, as long as he's koalafied.

How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Nine........one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people?

He needed places to hide the bodies.

What did the fisherman say to the fisherwoman?

Your place or mine