When things go wrong, what can you always count on?

Your fingers.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Whats the last thing that goes through a fly's brain before it hits my car windshield?

Its arse.

What do you call a pirate that sells things?

A sailor.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How many legs does an elephant have if you count his trunk as a leg?

Four. Because calling the trunk a leg doesn't make it a leg.

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, "....I'll leave now.

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose?

He was a ghoulsnif fer.

What is a proctologist's drink of choice?

Two fingers of whiskey.