Why does BuzzFeed skip every other number when counting?

They literally can't even.

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Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9?

Because Windows 7 8 9

What do you call an ant who skips school?

A truant!

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What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

How does the farmer count up his cows?

With a cowculator.

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Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven?

Because seven ate nine.

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How does a Buzzfeed writer catch fish?

Clickbait.

How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

13\. Number 9 will shock you!