Skip Jokes

What do you call it when Batman skips church..?

Christian Bale.

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How do you tell a bad joke from a good joke?

You skip the punchline.

What did the dance instructor say to her student when the student wanted to use her bathroom?

Skip to my loo.

Why did the celiac patient have to skip leg-day?

Because he's allergic to glutes

What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school?

Ferrous Bueller's Day Off

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled behind a boat?

Skip

Why did they skip 9?

Because, 7 8 9...

Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10 and skip 9?

Because Windows 8 9.

Why did we skip windows 9?

Because 7 8 9 I'm so sorry

Why did they skip Windows 9?

Because 7 8 9!

Why isn't there a Windows 9?

Hey Microsoft, why is there no Windows 9? You've given us 7 and 8, and now you're skipping straight to 10?" "Well, to be completely honest, 7 8 9."

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Why did Microsoft skip windows 9?

Because 7 ate 9

Why does BuzzFeed skip every other number when counting?

They literally can't even.

Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

They revived to much XP

What do women and stones have in common?

You skip the flat ones.

Why did Microsoft skip to windows 10?

Because 7 8 9.

Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9?

Because Windows 7 8 9

What do women and rocks have in common?

You can skip the flat ones.

What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours?

Skip to the next track

Where does a thumb meet its type?

At oh-my-goodness! Skip

Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to 10?

Because Windows 7 ate 9!!!

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Why does granny have black eyes?

She was skipping without her bra

Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10?

Because Windows 7, 8, 9.

What the hell?

Why are you skipping numbers girl 1: Because I can't even!!!

Why did Jesus get a ticket?

He tried to skip the Cross walk.

Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9 and go straight to 10?

Because seven "ate" nine.

Why did the paper follow the pencil?

Because it LED THE WAY! I'm on a roll here! this is fun! Skip

Why did Windows skip to 10?

Because 7 ate 9.

What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant.

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs being towed behind your boat?

Skip.

What do you call an ant who skips school?

A truant!

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Why did Microsoft skip a number when naming their new operating system?

Because 7 ate 9.

What did the knob say to the door?

I LOCK you a lot! yep, its corny, indeed, but... I'm tryin'! Skip

How are women and rocks alike?

You skip across the flat ones.

How does Rudy Giuliani count to 10?

He doesn't he skips 1-8 and says 9-11 ten times.

Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

Why did Windows skip 9?

Because 7 ate 9.

What did the picture say to the Judge?

I WAS FRAMED! I just now made that up. I feel good about this one! Skip

How do you stop a charging bull?

Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! Skip

Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9 and going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7 8 9!

What's the smartest dinosaur?

Thesaurus Rex! omg, I crack myself up! Skip

What did the chef say when he was skipped in rotation?

Hey that's my toque!!

How are women like rocks?

You skip the flat ones.

What did the wall ask the picture?

All together now!) ***"How's it hangin' "*** Skip

Which side of a horse has the most hair?

The OUTSIDE! oh-my-goodness, that's hilarious! Skip

Why did Microsoft skip windows 9 and annouce windows 10?

Because windows 7 8 9

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Bathroom Jokes More Bathroom Jokes

Where does a vampire take a bath?

In the bat-room (bathroom).

Why are we at Home Depot?

Me: I wanted to see what it's like to pick out bathroom tile with you. See if this is worth it.

Flat One Jokes More Flat One Jokes

What do women and stones have in common?

You skip the flat ones.

How are women and rocks alike?

You skip across the flat ones.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What did the number zero say to the number eight?

Nice belt.

Why can a number divided by zero never be found in the dictionary?

Because it's undefined.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How are blizzards and men alike?

You don't know when they're coming, you don't know how many inches you'll get, and you don't know long they'll last

Why did the man with one hand cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop.

7 8 9 Jokes More 7 8 9 Jokes

Why is 6 divorcing 7?

Because 7 8 out 9.

Why did the number 6 cry?

Because 7 8 9. (7 ate 9)

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What did the couch say to the armchair?

Don't worry, I pull out.

What's the hurry?

Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

What did the blonde think of the new computer?

She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

Why was 6 afraid of 9?

Because 9 was still alive.

Church Jokes More Church Jokes

Why don't bees go to church?

Because they are in sects.

What do churches and guns have in common?

They both go PEW PEW PEW