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What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

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What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?

Aw shucks!

How many shags have you had?

He started counting then fell asleep.

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What was the name of the lumberjack in Al-Quaida?

Osama-Been-Loggin'

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

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How do you save a suicidal procrastinator?

Tell them it can probably wait 'til tomorrow.

How to make an idiot curious?

I'll post the answer tomorrow.

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What's the difference between a woman in the bath and a woman at church?

Well... the woman at church has hope in her soul.

What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

Colleague Jokes More Colleague Jokes

What did the perverted scientist say to his colleague?

If you need me, I'll be in my Lab.

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.