Lumberjack Jokes

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

What happens when a lumberjack doesn't know which tree to cut next?

He gets stumped.

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

What did the lumberjack say to the trees?

Run, Forest, run!

What's a Lumberjack's favorite drink?

A lager

What's the difference between a hipster and a lumberjack?

The lumberjack has a job.

What do you call a dating service for lumberjacks?

Timbr

What time do Lumberjacks take their tea-break?

TREE O'clock!

Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games?

Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out.

How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out?

By moving faux wood. Rimshot

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What did the tree say to the lumberjack?

I'm falling for you

Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle?

He was stumped.

What did the lumberjack see?

He saw a tree.

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

You might also enjoy:

Rate Jokes More Rate Jokes

Why couldn't a kid watch a pirate movie?

Because it was rated R.

Why couldn't Batman go to the movie?

Because it was rated "PG"

Forest Jokes More Forest Jokes

What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

What do you call a man of high authority, stoned out of his mind strolling along in the forest?

Hiking

Chopin Jokes More Chopin Jokes

Why was the pianist so depressed?

Because they weren't good at Chopin.

What do composers prepare their ingredients on?

A Chopin board

Composer Jokes More Composer Jokes

Why did the composer go to the chiropractor?

Because he had Bach problems

Which composer do lumberjacks prefer to listen to?

Chopin

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What's the difference between a woman kneeling in prayer and a woman kneeling in a bathtub?

A woman kneeling in prayer has hope in her soul.

Who got only one visitor his entire life, got banished from the family and still lurks around with hope?

Pluto.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the bartender day to the man who was drinking his vodka to fast?

Stop "Russian"

What happens when Lucy starts using 100% of her brain?

She's almost as smart as a man.

Date Service Jokes More Date Service Jokes

What do you call a dating service for lumberjacks?

Timbr

Why did the plant use a dating service?

To find its stomate!