Lumberjack Jokes

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

What happens when a lumberjack doesn't know which tree to cut next?

He gets stumped.

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

What did the lumberjack say to the trees?

Run, Forest, run!

What's a Lumberjack's favorite drink?

A lager

What's the difference between a hipster and a lumberjack?

The lumberjack has a job.

What do you call a dating service for lumberjacks?

Timbr

What time do Lumberjacks take their tea-break?

TREE O'clock!

Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games?

Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out.

How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out?

By moving faux wood. Rimshot

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What did the tree say to the lumberjack?

I'm falling for you

Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle?

He was stumped.

What did the lumberjack see?

He saw a tree.

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

You might also enjoy:

Morning Wood Jokes More Morning Wood Jokes

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement

What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Date Service Jokes More Date Service Jokes

Why did the plant use a dating service?

To find its stomate!

What do you call a dating service for lumberjacks?

Timbr

Chopin Jokes More Chopin Jokes

Why was the pianist so depressed?

Because they weren't good at Chopin.

What do composers prepare their ingredients on?

A Chopin board

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do French Business Men use to ice their cakes?

Franchicing

What file archiver do Tigers use?

Win-Rawr.

Rate Jokes More Rate Jokes

How would you rate an average upholstery job upon completion?

Eh. Sew-sew.

Why didn't the pirate get into the movie?

It was rated rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Whack Jokes More Whack Jokes

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes "Whack, crap!", and a skydiver goes " Crap, whack!".

Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

Why did the hipster burn himself?

Because he played with fire before it was cool.

What's the opposite of a hipster?

A napster