Lumberjack Jokes

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What happens when a lumberjack doesn't know which tree to cut next?

He gets stumped.

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

What did the lumberjack say to the trees?

Run, Forest, run!

What's a Lumberjack's favorite drink?

A lager

What's the difference between a hipster and a lumberjack?

The lumberjack has a job.

What do you call a dating service for lumberjacks?

Timbr

What time do Lumberjacks take their tea-break?

TREE O'clock!

Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games?

Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out.

How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out?

By moving faux wood. Rimshot

What did the tree say to the lumberjack?

I'm falling for you

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle?

He was stumped.

What did the lumberjack see?

He saw a tree.

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

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How many redditors does it take to send a letter?

Three. One to post it, and two to repost it.

What Operating System does a Redditor use?

Fedora Linux!

Composer Jokes More Composer Jokes

Which composer do lumberjacks prefer to listen to?

Chopin

Why do composers win debates?

Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.

Date Service Jokes More Date Service Jokes

Why did the plant use a dating service?

To find its stomate!

What do you call a dating service for lumberjacks?

Timbr

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus like M&ampM's?

Because they fall through his hands.

What did the horse say when he fell down?

I've fallen and I can't giddyup.

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How long have you felt this way?

Man: "Ever since I was an egg."

What does the man with two left feet ask the shoe salesman?

Do you sell flip-flips?

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

What do you call a sleeping police officer?

An undercover cop.

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Why does noone listen ever to the guy who talks with his mouth full?

He is so misunderstood.

Who's there! Alice! Alice who?

Alice N. Tew if you'll listen to me!

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What's a Drummer's favorite food?

Anything that requires chopsticks. Ba-Dum-Tss

What do Chinese lumberjacks do?

Chopsticks