Forest Jokes

What does a mathematicion find in a forest?

A natural log.

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What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

How do really crazy people get through the forest?

Via the psycho path.

What is the wettest animal in the forest?

The raindeer.

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?

Ones a pant in the country the others a...

What did the lumberjack say to the trees?

Run, Forest, run!

Where would you find more Leifs than in a forest?

Valhalla.

Why did the mother bear ask the baby bear to wear shoes before he ran through the forest?

Because he was barefooted!!!

Why does the forest stink during a storm?

Because the trees break wind.

How does an insane man get through the forest?

By taking the psychopath. hhhhehehhehe good one right? yeh? no..? ok.

How far can you walk into the forest?

Halfway, when you walk further then you will walk out of the forest!

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How does Luke Skywalker get through the forest?

Ewoks

What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?

Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton!

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

By moss code.

Which film star is always jumping around the forest?

John Treevaulter.

How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?

They Take The Psycho Path

Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest?

Because she was a litter bug.

What do you call a fallen tree in a forest?

Natural log. Sorry about the math joke.

When two bears asked a pastor to marry them in the forest, what did he say?

Hold on, let me get my bear rings.

What is the poorest tree in the forest?

The burr-oak tree.

Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest?

Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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What do you call a man of high authority, stoned out of his mind strolling along in the forest?

Hiking

What do you call an agreement between forests?

A treety

Which way do insane people take when they go through the forest?

The psycho path.

How does a crazy person walk through the forest?

He takes the psychopath.

How do crazy people make it through a forest?

They take the psycho-path.

What did the doe say as she came out of the forest?

I'll never do that for 5 bucks again.

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Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?

He was going as a banana.

Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet?

The one with the biggest head.

Psycho Path Jokes More Psycho Path Jokes

Where do weirdos ride their bicycles?

Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)

How did the crazy man get across the forrest?

He took the psycho path. ()

Lumberjack Jokes More Lumberjack Jokes

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack?

Morning wood.

What's the difference between a hipster and a lumberjack?

The lumberjack has a job.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What do Asians do during an erection?

They vote

What does an Asian man do during an erection?

Vote.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

Why did Shakespeare break up with his girlfriend?

Prose before hoes.

What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they are really good at it

Why didn't the tree like to play checkers?

Because it was a chesnut tree.

One Jokes More One Jokes

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

Why hasn't Mexico got an Olympic team?

Because the ones who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why does a Canadian with a stutter never run low on batteries?

He always has plenty of double "eh"s, triple "eh"s...

Why would a Catholic priest start practicing at a prison?

He ran out of little boys