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One Jokes

What's the difference between a Zippo and a hippo?

Ones really heavy, and the other's a little lighter!

Love

Love

What's the difference between a magic show and a brothel?

Ones a cunning array of stunts...

Why doesn't Mexico have a good Olympic team?

Because all the ones that can run, jump and swim are already in America.

What are the best kinds of speedbumps?

Orphan shaped ones.

What does a condom have in common with a coffin?

Ones for coming and ones for going.

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?

Ones a pant in the country the others a...

Which eggs are the best for Easter?

Empty ones ()

How do you tell who the extroverted engineers are?

They're the ones who look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.

How can you tell which Russian olympic spectators are actually KGB agents?

The ones with food.

What are the sickest rock layers?

The ones with diabases.

What kind of triangle jokes can never be made right?

Ones with an obtuse angle.

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

Why doesn't Mexico have a team in the summer Olympics?

Because all the ones who can run, jump or swim are ready in the US.

Why does Mexico rarely wins medals at the Olympic Games?

All the ones who can run/swim/jump already made it to America.

What's the do a girlfriend and an ice cream cone have in common?

The ones that are hot don't last as long

What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor?

Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go!

How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd?

They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips.

Why y'all checkin' me?

Ur the ones with a pot leaf on your flag!!

What kind of donuts did Bob Marley prefer?

The ones with Jam in

What do you call a couple of ones and zeros orbiting around each other?

Binary stars.

What's the difference between a police baton and a magic wand?

Ones used for cunning stunts.

How can you recognize a Gnome Pig?

They're the ones with the little red hats.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

Which ones?

Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble

What letters are not in the alphabet?

The ones in the mail of course!

How do you recognize a blonde in school?

They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board.

Which people do the burgers hate?

The ones who are always putting the bite on them!

Whats the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at a mental hospital?

The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.

What is the difference between reindeer and caribou?

Reindeer are the ones that fly.

Why are so many Koreans named Park?

Because the ones named Drive all died in crashes.

What's the difference between Italy and a tea bag?

Ones in a cup

How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.

What does Brown Santa say?

Gifts only for little girls with A's, B's and C's because the other ones already have the D's.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What's the difference between a psychiatrist and his patients at the mental hospital?

The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home.

What's an easy way on /r/jokes to find feminism jokes?

Just look for ones that have a "JOKE:" disclaimer

How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.

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Organ Jokes More Organ Jokes

What's better than two roses on your paino?

Tulips on your organ.

What's better than a dozen roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

Pokemon Jokes More Pokemon Jokes

What does Pokemon Go and a policeman have in common?

You gotta catch Jamal

Why don't Pokemon cards ever have any typos?

Because the editors know that they gotta catch 'em all!

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What did the pirate say after he pulled a steering wheel out of his pants?

It's driving me nuts!

What is in a virgin candy bar?

Cherries and nuts

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?

How slime flies!

What has four legs and can fly?

Two Birds!

Sue Jokes More Sue Jokes

What do you call a woman who wants lots of compensation?

Sue.

Why did the oil covered seagull get sued?

There can only be one goo gull

Buddhist Jokes More Buddhist Jokes

Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch?

Because they have no attachments.

What did one Buddhist Master give to the child for his birthday?

Nothing wrapped in Emptiness. How did the birthday child respond? You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift. To which the Buddhist Master replied, "Thank you."

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why are some flowers gangsta?

Cause they carry pistils.

Why do Pillows work?

Cause they're white

Wedding Ring Jokes More Wedding Ring Jokes

What are the 3 rings involved in marriage?

1) The engagement ring 2) The wedding ring 3) The suffering

What does the date inside of a wedding ring stand for?

Best before...