Whats the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at a mental hospital?

The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What about breakfast teaches us the difference between "interested" and "committed"?

In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.

What's the difference between the 9/11 attack and a dairy cow?

You stop milking the cow after ten years.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the last thing you want to hear before you go to sleep?

Zippity Bop, Puddin' pop!

Whats The difference between Stealing Cookies from a Jar and Child Molesting?

Ive only ever been caught stealing cookies.

One Jokes More One Jokes

How can you recognize a Gnome Pig?

They're the ones with the little red hats.

How can you spot a racist in a crowd?

They're the ones shouting "Black Lives Matter!"

Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

What did the monster say to his psychiatrist?

I feel abominable.'

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to *want* to be screwed in.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

Why are you so excited?

The surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. "But doc this is my first operation." "Really It's mine too and I am not excited at all."

Why don't urologists hand out stickers their patients?

Because they are always telling them "You're in trouble"

Mental Hospital Jokes More Mental Hospital Jokes

What's the best way to get to the mental hospital?

Take the psychopath!!

What's the difference between a psychiatrist and his patients at the mental hospital?

The patients are the ones that get better and get to go home.