Pinnochio Jokes

Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!

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What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

What secret organization does Pinnochio work for?

Wooden you like to know

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What does a pirate's beard feel like?

Corsair. (works better in a pirate accent)

How about an app that keeps track of every working automatic paper towel dispenser in the world?

All seven or eight of them.

Woodpecker Jokes More Woodpecker Jokes

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message!

Why is morning wood full of holes?

Because the woodpecker.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What's the hardest thing about finding a dead baby on the beach?

Hiding the erection.

What kind of an erection does a necrophiliac get?

Mourning wood!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why's it so hard to find marathon and triathlon reviews in Germany?

Well, you know what happened last time they picked a race...

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat?

When there's a sail on it.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?

Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What's a hipsters favorite season?

Summer, they like it before it's cool

Why did the rabbi walk into the bar?

Because he likes oldfashioned jokes.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down?

One good turn deserves another.

Disney Jokes More Disney Jokes

Why did the Country Bear Jamboree bear blush?

Because he was a bear a-singing...... I am at Disney with the kids this week...

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants