Hope Jokes

What's Justin Timberlake's favourite Microsoft Word alignment?

Justified. (NB Sincerely hoping that this is actually original)

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

What do horses hope for on election day?

A stable economy

What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

What is the difference between Windows and the US Goverment?

There is none. All of us hope that the next version will be more stable.

What's the difference between and elephant and a mail box?

I don't know. I hope you're not allowed to take the mail out to the mail box.

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

How is marriage and CPR training the same?

You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again

What is Reddits favorite country?

Chi-LE!!!!!!!!!! My girlfriend came up with that one hope u guys love it as much as I do!!!!!

Why did I rob the bank?

For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.

What does a fisherman say when he catches a fish?

His catch-phrase. Short n' Sweet, hope you like it!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

The nun has hope in her soul!

What is the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in church has hope in her soul

What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub?

The lady in church has hope in her soul.

How does a SQL expert get a date?

GetDate() (I really hope this doesn't do well, so cheap, so stupid, just had to write it when I thought of it)

What do you call a fuzzy animal that grows on trees?

A root bear! (I came up with this joke a few minutes ago. I hope it's funny)

What did the byte do to keep each of his bits safe?

He had to a-lock-eight into memory. -This is an original, hope you all enjoy.

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

Asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

What's the difference between a woman in a bathtub and a woman in a church?

The woman in church has hope in her soul.

What should you do if you see a vicious dog?

Hope he doesn't see you.

How many Super Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGONBALL ZEEEEE! (I really hope this isn't a repost)

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

What do you call a beach with crooked waves?

OC A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

What's the difference between a woman in the bath and a woman at church?

Well... the woman at church has hope in her soul.

What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black?

A glimmer of hope

What did Samsung Galaxy S 5 say to the iPhone 6?

Get bent" I hope you guys like this joke. I just came up with it.

Why did the chiropractor have trouble waiting behind people?

Because he didn't know what alignment. I hope this one cracks you up!

Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bubble bath?

The girl in church has her soul full of hope...

What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath?

One has hope in her soul...

How do you make a Whiskey Sour?

Crush it's hopes and dreams.

What you hope someone might say about you when they approach your casket?

Hey, I think he moved.

Who got only one visitor his entire life, got banished from the family and still lurks around with hope?

Pluto.

You might also enjoy:

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

Why are astronomers so popular with the ladies?

Chicks dig stars.

What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver?

I'm at your service ma'am.

Johnny Cash Jokes More Johnny Cash Jokes

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

What celebrity never payed with a cheque or credit?

Johnny Cash.

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?

A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead!

What is the leading cause of dry skin?

Towels

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

What did the donut say to the loaf of bread?

If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn't be hanging around this hole!

What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

Bathtub Jokes More Bathtub Jokes

What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub?

The lady in church has hope in her soul.

What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw your laundry in.

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller?

A computer with a lot of bites!

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

What is a French bakers lifestyle like?

Its a life of pain

Why was the road in so much pain?

Because it has a carpool tunnel.

Bubble Bath Jokes More Bubble Bath Jokes

What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bubble bath?

The girl in church has her soul full of hope...

What dog loves to take bubble baths?

A shampoodle!