Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What is the biggest difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa stops at three Ho's

Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime?

He wanted to have some stage presents.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas?

Very, very hungry.

What did Dracula say at the Christmas party?

Fancy a bite

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What's Justin Timberlake's favourite Microsoft Word alignment?

Justified. (NB Sincerely hoping that this is actually original)

What did Samsung Galaxy S 5 say to the iPhone 6?

Get bent" I hope you guys like this joke. I just came up with it.

Lump Jokes More Lump Jokes

Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?

He's been chasing parked cars.

Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

Coal Jokes More Coal Jokes

What do you call it when one piece of coal asks another piece of coal out to dinner?

Carbon dating.

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress