Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What band does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Slayer.

Why doesn't Santa have to pay for parking?

Because it's on the house.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?

They both drop their needles!

What's Scrooge's favourite Christmas game?

Mean-opoly.

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill?

Hope you're ready for the next episode

Lump Jokes More Lump Jokes

What do you call a lump of cats?

A meowtain

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

Coal Jokes More Coal Jokes

Why did the Cephalopod get coal for Christmas?

Because he was on the nautilust.

What did the snowman say when he got coal for Christmas?

I can see!