Lump Jokes

What do you call a lump of cats?

A meowtain

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What's the M0D's name before they're triggered; turning into a furious, putrid, lump of blubber?

Bruce Banner

Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?

He's been chasing parked cars.

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.

Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

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Park Car Jokes More Park Car Jokes

Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?

He's been chasing parked cars.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?

Good question. We're still trying to find out too.

What's little, brown, and found in the woods?

Winnies' pooh.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you turn tap water into holy water?

You boil the HELL out of it! Har har har.

What was the most pivotal point in Jesus' ministry?

When he turned the tables on the Temple vendors!

Chase Jokes More Chase Jokes

Why does a blond dog have lumps on his head?

He's been chasing parked cars.

Why are people who vape always trying to chase after bigger clouds?

More storage space.

Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

What is the difference between a millennial and a gun?

A gun only has one trigger.

What's the difference between a gun and a feminist?

A gun has one trigger.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Whoa. There are books on TAPE?

Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.

Who gets saved?

America

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What's the definition of Polystyrene?

A plastic parrot!

What's the definition of a school report?

A poison pen letter from the principal.