Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.

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Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?

A panda with a set of drums.

What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock?

Barns and no-bulls. (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)

Depress Jokes More Depress Jokes

What does a guy with no friends be for Halloween?

Depressed

Why was the airport depressed?

It had a terminal illness.

Pressure Jokes More Pressure Jokes

Why do men fart more than women?

Because women won't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

Why are divers always so nervous?

Because they're always under pressure!

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

Why do we say dogs are man's best friend? Why not say dogs are man's and woman's best friend?

Because diamonds are a woman's best friend.

What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?

Carbon dating