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Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.

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Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why the turnout at Michael Jackson's funeral?

He touched a lot of people.

Why is taking Spanish 2 so awesome?

You get a lot of puse.

Depress Jokes More Depress Jokes

How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?

Depressed.

What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?

The Navy blues What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time The Dock

Pressure Jokes More Pressure Jokes

What did the piston say to the freely expanding gas?

No pressure

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?

Carbon dating

What do you call a lump of coal and a diamond hanging out together?

Carbon Dating.