Pressure Jokes

What's the difference between a spitter and a swallower?

10 lbs of pressure on the back of the head.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What does Cam Newton and Fig Newton have in common?

They both crumble under pressure

What does Cam Newton have in common with a Fig Newton?

They are both soft and crumble under pressure.

Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?

Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother

Why are divers always so nervous?

Because they're always under pressure!

What did the bad shock tell the good shock?

I'm bad under pressure!! It's the lamest car joke in the world.

What got the apple into skydiving?

Pear pressure.

Why do men fart more than women?

Because women won't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.

What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position?

Ability to work under pressure.

Why don't women fart?

They can't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

What's the reason my shower isn't working?

You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

What did the piston say to the freely expanding gas?

No pressure

Why can't an egg ever be in charge?

Because they crack under pressure.

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Med School Jokes More Med School Jokes

Why did the trout go to med school?

Mounting pressure from his friends and family

What do you call a poop that went to med school?

Dookie Howser

Pier Pressure Jokes More Pier Pressure Jokes

Why didn't the man go under the boardwalk?

He doesn't like giving in to pier pressure.

Why did the boat dock with the all of the other boats?

Pier Pressure

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why does snoop dog need an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle....

Dock Jokes More Dock Jokes

Where do dock workers like to shop?

Crate and Barrel.

Who do you call when you need a dock fixed?

A docktor.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What happens if you steal in Afghanistan?

You get Talibanned

What do you call someone that steals shoes?

A sneaker.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

Why do black cats never shave?

Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas!

How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How do you know if you've fallen in love with an apple from France?

Your heart goes "pomme pomme... pomme pomme..."

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why was the kamikaze pilot so depressed?

He felt his life was heading for a downward spiral.

Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.