Hair Jokes

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?

AI (Artificial Intelligence)

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What's a whale's favourite brand of hair gel?

Krill Bream.

What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Cancer

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

What does a bee style his hair with?

A honey comb!

Why did Willow Smith whip her hair?

Because it has been very knotty.

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good?

Because he is a Norsissist.

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

What do comic book collectors use in their hair?

Mint conditioner.

What do you call a guy with no hair named Gary?

Garibaldi

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How do you buy hair?

You have toupee

Why do blondes wear their hair up?

To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Why did Moses part his hair?

To make a path for the Israelice.

Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?

Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?

Barberians.

What stops your hair from falling?

The floor

Why does C. Ronaldo comb his hair every game break?

So it won't get too Messi.

What shape is your hair in the morning?

A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter

Why should you wash your hair with counterfeit feces?

Because it's sham poo.

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What do bees use to do their hair?

Honeycombs!

What do you call it when a brunette dyes her hair blonde?

Brainwashing.

Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket?

Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

How is Sandusky like a tortoise?

He gets there before the hair...

What does Batman use to wash his hair?

Conditioner Gordon.

What does John Cena wash his hair with?

Champ who

What wears a black white and tan coat but has no hair?

A bald beagle!

How do you get your hair into shape?

You condition it

What do you call soup that you've found a hair in?

Rabbit Soup

What kind of hair do oceans have?

Wavy hair.

Where does the bride of Frankenstein have her hair done?

At the ugly parlour.

What do you call a pen with no hair?

A bald point!

Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun?

Because she had her nose in a hamburger.

What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What do you call the hair of a centaur?

Humane.

What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower?

Mint conditioner.

How do warty witches keep their hair out of place?

With scare spray.

What's the normal amount of hair to mail someone?

I feel like this is a lot of hair I'm mailing to someone

What's worse than finding hair in your food?

Finding out the chef is bald.

Who never gets his hair wet in the shower?

A bald man.

What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair?

Lily!

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

A Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

What's the difference between an Alto and a Tenor?

The Tenor doesn't have hair on his back.

What experience do you have plucking chickens?

Me: See all those hairs on my chin No. Me: Exactly.

What did the witch put in her hair?

Scare spray.

When the barber is done cutting his hair, the cowboy goes back outside. And guess what?

Pony gone.

What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

They pull up their pants.

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head?

Because he wanted a head of hare (hair).

What do you call a gorilla that's hair is two different colors?

Harambre

What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black?

A glimmer of hope

When can you dive in a swimming pool and not get your hair wet?

When your bald!

How does a chicken do their hair?

With a comb, In one fowl swoop.

Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut?

They didn't like the barbershop Cortez.

Why did the monster dye her hair yellow?

To see if blondes have more fun.

What do you call it when a video game character gets hair on his body?

Q*berty. (my kids wrote this!)

Why does the moon have no hair?

Because it's waxing

How many hairs are in a dog's tail?

None. They are all on the outside.

What side of a monster has more hair?

The outside!

Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

That's where you wash all your vegetables!

What do you call a smiling Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

Why are you so upset?

It's just hair. I'm the one that's gotta find a new girlfriend.

What do witches put on their hair?

Scare spray!

What should you buy if your hair falls out?

A good vacuum cleaner!

Which side of a horse has the most hair?

The OUTSIDE! oh-my-goodness, that's hilarious! Skip

Why did the bully go to beauty school?

She wanted to tease hair

How can I help you today, Mr Simpson?

BART: I don't know where my hair starts

What kind of hair do oceans have?

Wavy!

Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair?

Because if they dragged them by the ankles, they'd fill up with muck.

What do you call a bear with no hair?

Bare

When my wife does our daughter's hair: "How about a double French braid swirled into a fancy bun?

When I do her hair: "How about a hat "

What do you call a Roman with a hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket?

He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Why don't you ever wear your hair down?

Me: It makes me look approachable. CW: So Me: I don't want to encourage that.

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?

The baa-baa shop.

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What's the difference between a vegan, a crossfit instructor, and a psychological test subject?

The test subject is the only one you'd willingly ask to "tell us about yourself."

What's the difference between a tease, a love, and a lust?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

Why do some loudspeakers have holes?

For the pleasure of the audiophiles.

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of government does Disney World have?

A plutocracy

What kind of currency do they use in space?

Starbucks

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How do you best serve burned food?

Coal'd.

Why are Mistborns always so thin?

Because they're always Burning calories!

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why did the pig walk into the kitchen?

Because he felt like bacon.

Why can't you feel photons?

Because they are light.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why should you never stand behind Elsa from Frozen?

You never know when she'll Let it Go.

Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party?

He heard they were having upside-down cake!

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you cut the sea in half?

With a seesaw

Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How did Jared lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend

What did the skunk use to contact his girlfriend?

His smellular phone!