Hair Jokes

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?

AI (Artificial Intelligence)

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do bald men cut holes in there pockets?

To run their hands through their hair

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

What's a whale's favourite brand of hair gel?

Krill Bream.

When do you kick a midget in the balls?

When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

What's the best part about showering with an eight year old girl?

Slicking her hair back and making her look like a six year old boy.

Why are foodfights forbidden in japanese schools?

The children always end up with lice in their hair.

What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a coconut?

Coconuts have hair

What sits in the kitchen and gets smaller and smaller?

A baby combing its hair with an apple peeler

Why was the 45 year old businessman losing his hair?

He has cancer.

What's a good way to get gum out of your hair?

Getting diagnosed with cancer.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a Blonde and a person with a different colour of hair?

The blonde sure doesn't know.

What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Cancer

When is it okay to punch a midget?

When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.

Why didn't Gordon Ramsay like the Girl Scout cream pies?

He found a hair in one.

Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair?

Because if they had pulled them by their feet they would have filled up with mud

How do you get gum out of your hair?

Get cancer

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair?

Cancer

What does a bee style his hair with?

A honey comb!

What's the easiest way to get the chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer

Why did Willow Smith whip her hair?

Because it has been very knotty. Apologies in advance

How did the Roman cut his hair?

Caesar

Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good?

Because he is a Norsissist.

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

What do comic book collectors use in their hair?

Mint conditioner.

What do you call a guy with no hair named Gary?

Garibaldi

How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?

Cancer

How do you buy hair?

You have toupee

How do you get gum out of hair?

Cancer -I'm sorry-

Why should I shave my downstairs?

Guy: Because I don't like hair in my food.

Why do blondes wear their hair up?

To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair and not the feet?

Because if they drug them by the feet the would have filled with dirt.

Why did Moses part his hair?

To make a path for the Israelice.

What is the best part about showering with a 14 year old girl?

If you slick her hair back just right, she looks nine!

What do you call a Roman warrior with hair in his mouth?

Gladiator Get it? Glad He Ate Her..

Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?

Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother

What is the definition of a Barbarian?

It's someone who cuts hair in a library.

What is logic?

A mute telling a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a paraplegic running behind a bald guy while grabbing his hair.

What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?

Barberians.

What stops your hair from falling?

The floor

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

Why does C. Ronaldo comb his hair every game break?

So it won't get too Messi.

How does a barber avoid getting hair in his food?

By giving her a Brazilian wax first!

What shape is your hair in the morning?

A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter

Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony?

He kept getting in everyone's hair.

Why should you wash your hair with counterfeit feces?

Because it's sham poo.

How do you keep your hair from blowing everywhere when you drive in a convertible?

Cross your legs

When Do You Hurt a Midget?

When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!

What do bees use to do their hair?

Honeycombs!

What do you call it when a brunette dyes her hair blonde?

Brainwashing.

Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket?

Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

How is Sandusky like a tortoise?

He gets there before the hair...

What's grosser than gross?

When a midget walks past and says your hair smells nice!

What's the best part about taking a shower with an 11 year old girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks like an 8 year old boy.

What does Batman use to wash his hair?

Conditioner Gordon.

Why did the midget get slapped?

Because he told a woman how nice her hair smelled.

Why don't Baptist preachers color their hair?

They just pray the gray away

What did the blonde do after she combed her hair?

She pulled her pants up.

What does John Cena wash his hair with?

Champ who

What wears a black white and tan coat but has no hair?

A bald beagle!

How do you get your hair into shape?

You condition it

What's the best thing about an 8 year old in the shower?

You can slick her hair back and make her look 6.

What happens when skin touches skin, hair touches hair, and Balls Disappear?

You Blink Your Eyes.

What do you call soup that you've found a hair in?

Rabbit Soup

What kind of hair do oceans have?

Wavy hair.

Where does the bride of Frankenstein have her hair done?

At the ugly parlour.

What do you call a pen with no hair?

A bald point!

When do you kick a dwarf in the balls?

When he is standing next to your lady saying her hair smells nice.

Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun?

Because she had her nose in a hamburger.

What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What do you call the hair of a centaur?

Humane.

What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower?

Mint conditioner.

How do warty witches keep their hair out of place?

With scare spray.

What's the normal amount of hair to mail someone?

I feel like this is a lot of hair I'm mailing to someone

When is the appropriate time to kick a midget in the balls?

When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice

What's the best part about showering with a 7 year old girl?

You slick their hair back and you've got a 7 year old boy.

What's worse than finding hair in your food?

Finding out the chef is bald.

Why did (do?

Cavemen drag their women by the hair if the dragged them by their feet they'd fill up with mud.

Who never gets his hair wet in the shower?

A bald man.

What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair?

Lily!

Why did the caveman drag his cavewoman around by the hair?

Because if he dragged her around by the feet she would fill up with dirt.

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?

A Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

What's the difference between an Alto and a Tenor?

The Tenor doesn't have hair on his back.

What experience do you have plucking chickens?

Me: See all those hairs on my chin No. Me: Exactly.

What did the witch put in her hair?

Scare spray.

When the barber is done cutting his hair, the cowboy goes back outside. And guess what?

Pony gone.

Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?

Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with dirt.

How do you get spiderwebs out of your hair?

Asking because Spider-Man... I mean... Just asking.

What do blondes do after they comb their hair?

They pull up their pants.

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

What do you call a woman who dyes her hair red?

Transginger.

Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head?

Because he wanted a head of hare (hair).

What do you call a gorilla that's hair is two different colors?

Harambre

What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black?

A glimmer of hope

How do pirates get their hair to stand up?

Sea-men. My brother told me that

When can you dive in a swimming pool and not get your hair wet?

When your bald!

How does a chicken do their hair?

With a comb, In one fowl swoop.

Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut?

They didn't like the barbershop Cortez.

Why did cavemen... drag their women by the hair?

So they wouldn't fill up with gravel.

You might also enjoy:

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What do you call an amputee that can't answer riddles?

Stumped

What is blonde and brown blonde and brown blonde and brown?

Answer. Madonna doing cartwheels.

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?

For the Halibut

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs......hanging on the wall?

Art...floating in the sea Bob...laying on the floor Matt...down in a hole Phil...sitting in a pot Stu...

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why was the fish swimming backwards?

It didn't want to get water in its eyes.

How does the chef prepare the chicken?

The waiter replies, "He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

What rhymes with Pistorius?

His girlfriend certainly ain't Morpheus.

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

When do you kick a dwarf in the balls?

When he is standing next to your lady saying her hair smells nice.

Why is the pool table green?

If you got your balls kicked around, I think you would be green too.

French Jokes More French Jokes

Who is the most famous French ant?

Napoleant!

Why do French people only ever have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What film do you get when you pull your pants down?

Free Willy

Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."