How is Jerry Sandusky like a tortoise?

He gets there before the hare

This joke may have profanity.

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Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit?

Hare in your milk!

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What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise?

Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!

What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.

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