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How can I help you today, Mr Simpson?

BART: I don't know where my hair starts

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How does a woman know she's sleeping with a forklift driver?

He beeps twice before coming through the flaps.

Why is Santa such a jolly old elf?

He knows where the naughty girls live.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the toilet want to start a rebellion?

Because he was a slave to the cistern!

Why did the accountant go crazy?

He started to hear invoices in his head.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

What date is it today?

2nd April. Ha!! April fool!

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

Why should I shave my downstairs?

Guy: Because I don't like hair in my food.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

How can that help in this job?

You do the math

Simpson Jokes More Simpson Jokes

What did the host serve his guests for The Simpsons marathon night?

Disco Stew!

How can I help you today, Mr Simpson?

BART: I don't know where my hair starts

Bart Jokes More Bart Jokes

What's Homer Simpsons favourite toy?

Bart.

Who's there! Bart! Bart who?

Bart-enders serve drinks!