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Bath Jokes

What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

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What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

What do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in your bath?

Throw in your washing.

Why did the ocean take a bath?

It had a sandy bottom.

Why'd the robber take a bath?

He wanted to make a clean getaway.

What are you supposed to do when someone is having a seizure in the bath?

Throw a load of dirty laundry in.

Why did the thief take a bath?

To get a clean getaway

What's the difference between a woman coming out of church and a woman taking a bath?

The woman coming out of church as hope in her soul!

What breed of dog loves to take a bath?

A shampoodle

Why does Peter Parker have a shower in his apartment?

He can't get out of a bath.

How about a dirty one as well?

Want to hear a clean joke? Bob took a bath. With Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? (Punchline hidden so you don't accidentally read)

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What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?

Polly unsaturated!

What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?

After a week he was spotless!

How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath?

Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath what is still dirty?

The bathtub.

What did the Monkey say when his bath was too hot?

Ooh-Ooh-Aah- Aah

What do a Yugo and a bath have in common?

You can't step out of them in public.

Why do you take baths in milk?

I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.

Why does Tiger have to take so many baths?

Because he plays with Pooh all day.

Where does a vampire take a bath?

In the bat-room (bathroom).

What do you call an epileptic leper taking a bath?

Porridge.

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What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

When you have the choice between cleaning the bath or doing some sport... which series do you watch?

D

How do you get a German out of the bath?

Turn on the water.

What kind of bath can you take without water?

A sun bath.

What's the difference between a woman in the bath and a woman at church?

Well... the woman at church has hope in her soul.

How do you call for a bath?

With a Teletubbie.

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks!

What can we do to stop polluting our waters?

Pupil: Stop taking baths

What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?

A little bear!

What has six eyes but cannot see?

Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath

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Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

What's Jay-Z's favorite store?

Bed, bath and Beyond-ce.

Why did the robber take a bath?

So he could make a clean getaway.

What criminal doesn't take baths?

A dirty crook.

How do you know that there's a monster in your bath?

You can't get the shower curtain closed.

Why did the bank robber take a bath?

So he could make a clean getaway.

Why did the burgler take a bath?

He wanted to have a 'clean getaway'.

What did the priest announce before he went for a bath?

Speak now or forever hold your pee!

What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath?

One has hope in her soul...

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Eve Jokes More Eve Jokes

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

What were Adam's first ever words to Eve?

Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do women want?

She has been talking nonstop for the last two days.

Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink?

So women know where to stand in the kitchen.

Seizure Jokes More Seizure Jokes

What do you call an epileptic in the garden?

Seizure salad

What food is bad for epileptic people?

Seizure salad

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What is the difference between a girl and a pool table?

You have a shot with a pool table.

Why did the girl bring 2 basketballs to the basketball game?

Because there was 2 basketball courts. DUH!

Bro Jokes More Bro Jokes

How many bros does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They prefer Natural Light.

How many bros does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They prefer Natural Light.

Eden Jokes More Eden Jokes

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

Where would men be without women?

The Garden of Eden

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub?

One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here

Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

When one gun says to the other, "Damn dude, those are some nice bullets, where'd you get them?

The second gun says, "In some old magazine I found."

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!