Bath Jokes

What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

What do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in your bath?

Throw in your washing.

Why did the ocean take a bath?

It had a sandy bottom.

Why'd the robber take a bath?

He wanted to make a clean getaway.

What are you supposed to do when someone is having a seizure in the bath?

Throw a load of dirty laundry in.

Why did the thief take a bath?

To get a clean getaway

What's the difference between a woman coming out of church and a woman taking a bath?

The woman coming out of church as hope in her soul!

What breed of dog loves to take a bath?

A shampoodle

Why does Peter Parker have a shower in his apartment?

He can't get out of a bath.

How about a dirty one as well?

Want to hear a clean joke? Bob took a bath. With Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? (Punchline hidden so you don't accidentally read)

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?

Polly unsaturated!

What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?

After a week he was spotless!

When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath what is still dirty?

The bathtub.

What did the Monkey say when his bath was too hot?

Ooh-Ooh-Aah- Aah

What do a Yugo and a bath have in common?

You can't step out of them in public.

Why do you take baths in milk?

I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.

Why does Tiger have to take so many baths?

Because he plays with Pooh all day.

Where does a vampire take a bath?

In the bat-room (bathroom).

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

When you have the choice between cleaning the bath or doing some sport... which series do you watch?

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

How do you get a German out of the bath?

Turn on the water.

What kind of bath can you take without water?

A sun bath.

What's the difference between a woman in the bath and a woman at church?

Well... the woman at church has hope in her soul.

How do you call for a bath?

With a Teletubbie.

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks!

What can we do to stop polluting our waters?

Pupil: Stop taking baths

What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?

A little bear!

What has six eyes but cannot see?

Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath

Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

What's Jay-Z's favorite store?

Bed, bath and Beyond-ce.

Why did the robber take a bath?

So he could make a clean getaway.

What criminal doesn't take baths?

A dirty crook.

How do you know that there's a monster in your bath?

You can't get the shower curtain closed.

Why did the bank robber take a bath?

So he could make a clean getaway.

Why did the burgler take a bath?

He wanted to have a 'clean getaway'.

What did the priest announce before he went for a bath?

Speak now or forever hold your pee!

What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath?

One has hope in her soul...

You might also enjoy:

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men?

Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

Why didn't Oscar Pistorius get a new bathroom door?

Because his wife was dead-set against it...

Bud Jokes More Bud Jokes

What did the pot-head name his son?

Bud.

Knock knock. Who's there? Bud. Bud who?

Budweiser the King of Beers!

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Why do you have a pear on your head?

He replies, "It's not a peach, it's a plum!"

When she read the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?

I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."

Pope Jokes More Pope Jokes

What do Bill Gates and the Pope have in common?

They've both put their faith in the cloud.

Why does the Pope shower with his briefs on?

He doesn't like to look down on the unemployed.

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

Why did the chiropractor have trouble waiting behind people?

Because he didn't know what alignment. I hope this one cracks you up!

What's the difference between a woman in a bathtub and a woman in a church?

The woman in church has hope in her soul.

Adam Jokes More Adam Jokes

What is Adam's brother called?

Subtractem

Who was the world's first carpenter?

Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand.

Epileptic Jokes More Epileptic Jokes

What do you call an epileptic in a deck chair?

A transformer.

What do you can an epileptic What do you call an epileptic in a garden?

Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'