Pray Jokes

Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?

Anubis.

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What would Gregor Mendel pray for if he had a blender for his experiments?

Whirled Peas

What do you call a religious owl?

A bird of pray.

What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper?

Lettuce, pray.

What is the last thing a tossed salad says to itself before being devoured by a human?

Lettuce pray

What do you call a group of Vigilante Aussie Nuns?

Birds of Pray

What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

Lettuce, pray.

Where does the Islamic botanist go to pray?

In the Mossque.

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

Why did the eagle fly into the church?

It was a bird of pray

What does Axl Rose do before he prays?

Gets down on his SHA-NA-NA-NA-NA-KNEES! KNEES!

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Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)

Who should you pray to if you don't want the airplane that you are on to get diverted?

Diversion Mary

What does a noodle say after praying?

Ramen

What kind of birds go to church every Sunday?

Birds of Pray

Who do cows pray to?

Moohammad

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Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What did the vegetable say to the dj?

Lettuce turnip the beet

What's the hardest part of a vegetable?

The Wheelchair

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory?

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

Egyptians Jokes More Egyptians Jokes

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-Nile...

Church Jokes More Church Jokes

Why Didn't Batman Go To Church?

Because of Christian Bail

What did the fireman say when the church caught on fire?

Holy smoke!

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Why don't they sell aspirin in the rainforest?

Because it would be economically unviable to market a pharmaceutical in such a vastly unpopulated area.

Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany?

Because it's a Nietzsche Market.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

Asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

What do you call a steak that is a girl?

Miss.Steak

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief.

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They don't believe in a higher power.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How does Greenland win a war?

Nuuks.

Why does the Pope always win at chess?

He has so many Bishops!