Pray Jokes

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

What do you call it when you talk to God?

Praying. Now what do you call it when God talks to you? Schizophrenia, it's called schizophrenia.

What is a hypocrite?

An atheist writer praying his book will sell.

Why is religion like mobile gaming?

Free-to-pray, pray-to-win.

Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?

Anubis.

What would Gregor Mendel pray for if he had a blender for his experiments?

Whirled Peas

What do you call a religious owl?

A bird of pray.

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper?

Lettuce, pray.

What is the last thing a tossed salad says to itself before being devoured by a human?

Lettuce pray

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What do you call a group of Vigilante Aussie Nuns?

Birds of Pray

Why don't Baptist preachers color their hair?

They just pray the gray away

Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream?

Both are in *a la mode*.

How do churches stay so strong?

They pray on the weak.

What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

Lettuce, pray.

What are you praying for?

Husband: For guidance. Wife: Pray for hardness. Leave guidance to me!!!

Where does the Islamic botanist go to pray?

In the Mossque.

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

Why did the eagle fly into the church?

It was a bird of pray

What does Axl Rose do before he prays?

Gets down on his SHA-NA-NA-NA-NA-KNEES! KNEES!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)

Who should you pray to if you don't want the airplane that you are on to get diverted?

Diversion Mary

What does a noodle say after praying?

Ramen

What kind of birds go to church every Sunday?

Birds of Pray

Who doesn't?

There he is now Medieval Art: Good morrow! Pray tell- How fare thee on this day of providence

Who do cows pray to?

Moohammad

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Hypocrite Jokes More Hypocrite Jokes

How do you tell a hypocrite from a normal person?

The hypocrite's the one that exists.

Who does a hypocrite really hate?

A hypocrite!

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why do Democrats like to play Pokemon?

They've always enjoyed rounding up Japanese monsters.

What did the byte do to keep each of his bits safe?

He had to a-lock-eight into memory. -This is an original, hope you all enjoy.

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

What's the difference between a lady in church and a lady in a bathtub?

The lady in church has hope in her soul.

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do ateists wear on their necks as an indication of their commitment to the atheism?

Head.

What does a two-headed cat say??

Weow!

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did God say after she made Eve?

Practice makes perfect.

What traumatic event lead to you not believing in god?

Me: oh, um, science.

Foreplay Jokes More Foreplay Jokes

Why don't women blink during foreplay?

They don't have time.

How do Muslims do foreplay?

They tickle the goat on the chin.

Tumblr User Jokes More Tumblr User Jokes

Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween?

She identified as pump-kin.

Where do Tumblr users go to pray?

The Cis-Teen Chapel