Why did the geologist's wife leave him?

He was getting physical (first joke hope you like it)

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Why do trees shed their leaves in fall?

Because they've had their chloro-fill.

What does every Elmo receive before they leave the factory?

Two test tickles!

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What did the farmer say to Pat Sajak?

I'd like to buy an owl

What do necrophiliacs and alcoholics have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one

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What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub?

One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here