Why did the geologist's wife leave him?

He was getting physical (first joke hope you like it)

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What's the worst thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

Why can't the NSA leaker leave Russia?

Because he's Snow'd-in!

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What type of sushi does Bob Seger like?

That Old Thai Moroccan Roll.

How do you know your friends are pleased with your Facebook post?

They like it!

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What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

What did Samsung Galaxy S 5 say to the iPhone 6?

Get bent" I hope you guys like this joke. I just came up with it.