Wind Jokes

What is the best way to stop a politician?

A really strong gust of wind.

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What wind is best for footballs?

Drew Brees

Why does it always seem like models' hair is blowing in the wind?

They have big fans.

What is the color of the wind?

A. Blew.

What did one renewable power source say to the other?

How did I wind up here I don't know man just go with the flow.

Why should've Christians chosen farts over bread?

It's more fun to break wind

Why do windbreakers smell bad?

Because all they do is break wind.

Why does the forest stink during a storm?

Because the trees break wind.

What do you call a wind that never gusts?

Disgusting.

Who's there! Blue! Blue who?

Blue away with the wind!

What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?

It was wound up already.

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What do you get when you cross pasta with a snake?

Spaghetti that winds itself around your fork.

How did Dairy Queen wind up pregnant?

Burger King didn't wrap his Whopper

What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?

A rough draft

Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night?

Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up.

Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?

Because you're breaking wind.

What does a tree say after it gets knocked over by the wind?

I went out on a limb.

Why do librarians like the wind?

It says, "Shhh!" all day!

What type of wind is named after Santa Claus's warm climate cousin?

Santa Ana

What type of wind is named after both a cat and a bat?

Katabatic

Where do wind gusts go to on dates?

To Chicago

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What do you think of this, you spin really fast and I'll fly a kite from the wind you make?

I'm not a big fan.

What type of wind is named after a young deer?

Foehn

Why did the dog run in circles?

He was a watchdog and needed winding.

How do you make any watch a stopwatch?

Don't wind it.

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How do you depress a room full of geeks?

Hold the door! I'm a leaf on the wind!

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What does Sonic say on the first day of Ramadan?

Gotta go fast!

What Would Beyonce Do?

Would she apply for a job Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."

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Why did the janitor get fired from the bank?

Because he cleaned out the vault.

What would you call the mailman if he got fired?

I don't know, just some dude.

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How can you tell if there is a pilot in the room?

He will tell you.

How did the elephant get into the room?

We don't talk about it...

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What is the best place for politicians?

Election posters. There they are portable, silent and easy to remove.

What is the best way to stop a politician?

A really strong gust of wind.

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What do you call a color that doesn't exist?

A pigment of your imagination.

What do Muslim children color with?

A Quran

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What game do little cows like to play?

Moonopoly.

Why can't Americans play chess?

Because they are missing two towers.

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What do you call a candelabra that refuses to hold candles?

A candle-nah-brah

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.