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How do we know God is not a woman?

Because the Earth is not a sandwich!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian?

I don't know man, I just fly the drones.

How'd family dinner go?

ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What is the quietest place on Earth?

The complaint department at a parachute packing company.

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do you understand women?

I really just want to know.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, but I bet we could pay them less than a group of men for the same amount of work.

Sandwich Jokes More Sandwich Jokes

Why would you never starve in the desert?

Because of all the sandwiches there.

What's J.D. Salingers favorite thing to have in a sandwich?

RYEbread....

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you call someone who loves Christmas but doubts the existence of God?

Eggnog-stic.

What do my dad and God have in common?

I've never seen or heard from either of them.