What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

This joke may have profanity.

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How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

What do you say to a woman with one black eye?

Nothing, you've already told her.

What do you say to a girl with a black eye?

Nothing. You already told her.