What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

This joke may have profanity.
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How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days

What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

What do you tell a woman with a black eye?

Nothing, she's already been told twice.

What do you tell a women with a black eye?

Nothing, you already told her once.