Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why are hipsters the oldest known form of life?

They were on the Earth before it was cool.

What should you do when life gives you melons?

Get tested for dyslexia.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call a T-Rex that's been weightlifting all day?

Dino-sore

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How do you think I feel?

I have to walk Home Alone

What makes a software developer feel rich?

Their Cache

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

Hmmm........I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you

Why was number 6 scared of number 7?

Because 7 8 9!

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.