Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

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Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What begins with S, ends with X and will change your life?

Smallpox

What should you do when life gives you melons?

Get tested for dyslexia.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call something that's impossible due to physics?

Physics-ly impossible. There's your dad joke for the day.

Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day?

Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How do windmills feel about renewable energy?

They're pretty big fans

What is Rihanna's favorite song?

I can't feel my face when i'm with you

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

For 2 weeks.

How are you doing in arithmetic?

I've learned to add up the zeros but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why was the calendar depressed?

His days were numbered.

Whats the difference between me and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.