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What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and an ounce of Coke?

Eric Clapton would never drop an ounce of Coke out of a window

What's the difference between a caver and a spelunker?

A caver rescues a spelunker.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What did the organic chemist use tinder for?

Carbon dating.

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What did the French chef give his wife on Valentine's Day?

A hug and a little quiche.

How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why was the calendar depressed?

His days were numbered.

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's Day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*