What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a pizza and a pizza joke?

You can't top a good pizza joke.

What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

What's the difference between dating a redhead and putting your hand in a blender?

There's always a 50/50 chance the blender isn't on

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why did the calendar give up on life?

Because he felt his days were numbered.

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

What celestial body do you give your sweetie on Valentine's Day?

An exoplanet.