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What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's Day.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine?

A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load.

How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later. Credit to Mitch hedburg

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Why was the whale lonely after his date?

The other whale didn't humpback.

Why was Harry Potter hufflepuffed after his date with Hermione?

She wouldn't let his ravenclaw slytherin her Gryffindor.

Valentine Day Jokes More Valentine Day Jokes

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?

You're purrr-fect for me!

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why was the calendar nervous?

It's days were numbered!

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's Day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

How do you kiss a girl on Valentine's Day?

You use tulips.