What's the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has a future...

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Walk of Life and Washington state?

One's by Dire Straits, the other's by dryer states.

What is the difference between an egg and a redditor?

Eggs get laid at least once.

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

What do you call a nose that can see into the future?

Nostrildamus

What do you call a hacker who can see the future?

A 4chan teller.

Calendar Jokes More Calendar Jokes

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!