Leaf Jokes

What did the plant say to the vegan?

Leaf me alone.

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What did the one tree say to the other tree?

I'd best be leafing.

Why was the leaf hanged?

For tree-son. Ha-ha. Ha.

Why is Adam known as the first accountant?

He turned a leaf and made an entry.

How do you know when spring is here?

The Leafs are out!

How does an elephant get down from a tree?

He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn!

What falls down faster from a tree, a leaf or an emo?

A leaf. The rope catches the emo.

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

What do Trees do in Autumn?

Take a Leaf of absence.

What does the tree says in autumn?

Leaf me alone.

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Lightning Jokes More Lightning Jokes

Why does lightning always strike trees?

They are the path of leaf resistance.

What did Frankenstein's monster say when he was struck by lightning?

Thanks I needed that.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list.

What has 142 teeths and can hold back the incredible Hulk?

My zipper

Accountant Jokes More Accountant Jokes

How do you know accountants have no imagination?

They named a firm PricewaterhouseCoopers.

How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

What sort of answer did you have in mind None-just assume it's changed.

Ha Jokes More Ha Jokes

What's the difference between snowmen and snow women?

Snow balls. Ha

Why was the leaf hanged?

For tree-son. Ha-ha. Ha.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What happens when a lumberjack doesn't know which tree to cut next?

He gets stumped.

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?

Please let me know... I have a terrible sense of humor!

Bad Gas Jokes More Bad Gas Jokes

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Entry Jokes More Entry Jokes

Why is Adam known as the first accountant?

He turned a leaf and made an entry.

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

What's so dark about blonde jokes?

They still haven't figured out how to screw in the lightbulb

Why did the student fail the exam?

Spent too much time figuring out the Engels, so he didnt get the Marx.... thats what he gets for Stalin