Colleague Jokes

What did the perverted scientist say to his colleague?

If you need me, I'll be in my Lab.

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What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars?

Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.

What did the Headless Horseman ask his colleague at Bad Guys Inc.?

What do I have to do to get ahead around here?

What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to motivate his colleagues?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did the lead researcher say when all of her colleagues were complaining about the experiment?

I don't care et al.

Why didn't the scientist tell his colleague the t-value of a test with 21 degrees of freedom and a p-value of 5%?

It was a t-crit! Thank you and goodnight!

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Einstein Jokes More Einstein Jokes

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement

What's the difference between Einstein and Kim Kardashian?

Einstein is famous for special relativity, Kim is famous for simple reality tv.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you make a buff guy talk to you for hours?

Ask about his routine.

How can you tell if a girl is under 18?

Ask her if she is a Bernie Sanders supporter.

P Jokes More P Jokes

What do you give an alligator who is having trouble hearing?

A gator-aid. Bet you did see that one coming:P

Why are girls so hot?

Because they lay out in the sun so much

Hannibal Lecter Jokes More Hannibal Lecter Jokes

What is Hannibal Lecter's favorite Jane Austen quote?

There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart."**

Why did Hannibal Lecter try DiGiorno's Pizza?

He heard it had de y flavor.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How did people charge their phones before electricity?

They didn't...!

What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control?

Parents.

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

What's a procrastinator's favorite punchline?

I'll tell you tomorrow

How to make an idiot curious?

I'll post the answer tomorrow.

Insult Jokes More Insult Jokes

What did the judge do to the lawyer who insulted him?

He got him diss barred.

What happens when you insult Terrance on the Oregon Trail?

You died of dysentery. Sorry.

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

What did the floor say to the desk?

I can see your drawers!