Floor Jokes

How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail the other hand to the floor.

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What do you call a foot doctor, curled up in a ball on the floor?

A pedal physician in the fetal position.

What did the spilled noodles say to the sauce pan?

I'm floored!

What do you call some soapy water on the floor?

Now you're just some bubbles that I used to blow.

What stops your hair from falling?

The floor

What did one architect say to the other?

I see the floor in your plan.

What do you call a quadriplegic laying on the floor?

Matt.

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

What do you call coffee on the floor?

Ground Coffee.

What did the Mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

Why did the lead singer of Drowning Pool lose his job at Starbucks?

HE LET BISCOTTI HIT THE FLOOR

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in a circle?

Nail it's other hand to the floor.

What happened when the computer fell on the floor?

It slipped a disk.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

What kind of flooring does a Mexican fit?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why is one floor taller than the rest of the floors in the building?

It's a long story.

What are these clothes on the floor?

A dead Jedi" I replied

What's the highest story of any building?

Floor 20

How can you make money fast?

Glue it to the floor.

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs......hanging on the wall?

Art...floating in the sea Bob...laying on the floor Matt...down in a hole Phil...sitting in a pot Stu...

What do you call two banana peels on the floor?

Slippers

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Why does Helium go up?

Because the floors Argon.

Why does she keep cleaning the floors?

Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba.

Why does a blonde lay on the floor while shopping?

To look for the lowest prices.

What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have?

Rep-tiles.

What did Hellen Keller not see when she fell?

The floor

What did the cheese maker say when his vat got dumped to the floor?

That's no gouda

What did the floor say to the desk?

I can see your drawers!

What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't move -- I've got you covered.

What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes?

Rep Tiles

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?

He wanted to see the floor show!

How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

What is something that can breakdance on the floor only once on their life?

A fish

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui

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Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What building has the most stories?

A library.

What do you get when you have an ant with 8 legs?

An uncle that has to build a bigger shoe closet...

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What's a woman who always knows where her husband is?

A widow.

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

Radio Jokes More Radio Jokes

Why did the lollipop cross the road?

Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed.

Who's there! Alison! Alison who?

Alison to my radio in the mornings!

England Jokes More England Jokes

Why is it "canceled" in America, but "cancelled" in England?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

Why did the siamese twins moved to England?

So the other one would also drive

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How do you know a neighborhood is too ghetto to film in?

If most people leave before shooting starts.

Why was the actor detained by airport security?

He said he was in town to shoot a pilot.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What did the doctor say to the lizard who was complaining about problems performing in the bedroom?

It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.

What sounds like a joke, but isn't funny?

An anti-joke.

Mop Jokes More Mop Jokes

What did the Mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

What's the difference between an Art major and a guy who mops bathrooms at KFC?

One has a job.

10th Jokes More 10th Jokes

Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor?

The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "

What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor?

1st floor: Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat